I have been thinking about how blessed I feel in my marriage at this point. I want to be careful not to disrespect my husband but also be as open as possible. He is not a believer and therefore acts accordingly. He comes from a family that is given to bondage to sin, and is following the path that has been shown to him.
Early in our marriage there was much strife. Many would say I had reason to be an nagging wife, and in the thinking of this world that would be true. But all my nagging did nothing to help the situation, I now believe it made it worst.
I have learned that I can do nothing to change my husband, He is not my problem. I am my problem and I can only change me with the Lords help. God will work on him in His time. Once I came to the point that I no longer tried to make him something I wanted him to be our marriage changed. He is a manly man who wants no woman to tell him what to do. He would never follow me no matter what. Even though he does not know the Lord, he still holds the position of leadership in the home. I had a hard time letting that go as I thought I was the "spiritual one" and knew better. I am paying a price for that now, with seeds this has sown in my sons lives.
One evening as we lay in bed he said to me in the kindest most soft spoken way "I just want you home" See despite saying I was a stay at home mom, I was anywhere but home most days. As he said the words I knew it was the Lord speaking through him. I came to realize what a prideful spirit I had about me. I always thought he was just being a control freak. But in that instant I knew what a rebellious woman I was. God can use use even an unsaved husband to speak to us if we are willing to listen. That was a turning point for me in trying to be the Godly wife He had called me to be.
Now that I have quit trying to change him, and just am content with the man I have, everything is better. Now I am not saying I don't fall back into my old fleshly ways at times. But I get back up and submit as onto the Lord.
I will say he too has accepted me. He fell in love with a wild party girl and then I came to Christ. He has accepted this and lets me walk out my convictions without any complaint. Even I as grow more separated from the world, he accepts me.
We are content with each other and with 25 yrs of marriage soon approaching, we still love each other deeply.