Thursday, July 9, 2009

Is the glass half empty or half full?

I keeping thinking about how much our attitude affects our life. How we approach things can really make all the difference.

This has been a long learning process for me, and I am still working on it. But I hope to continue to allow the Lord to teach me His truth on this.

When we were first married we fought a lot. We had some knock down drag out fights to be sure. We both were guilty, except he would try to leave and I would pursue wanting to "have it out". It did not matter that my little children were there. This bothered me, I knew it was not right. Anyway I asked my mother in law for advice. She raised 9 children and my husband says he never heard his parents fight. I could not fathom, so I went to her. Her answer? "Oh, he is the best husband ever, we never fight" Well I just walked away thinking the lady was off her rocker. I knew he was not that great! But over the years of watching her I saw that she just always looks on the bright side of things. She chooses not to focus on the negatives of life. As I have gotten older and wiser I have learned from her.

I sometimes stew over the state of my life. I think it is boring, not as great as others seem to be. I have had no impact on the world, whatever. Then I have someone say I am amazing, a super woman. I laugh at that but see that from her perspective my life looks interesting. While from mine it seems lonely and mundane.

A few days ago I was fed up with my husband, thinking again how I would leave him. How he is this or that. I told him so too! But then last night he was so sweet to me, showing me how much he truly does love me. Yes he can be hard to live with, he does not know the Lord and acts accordingly. But would it really be better without him? Would it be better to be married to a believer that does not love me?

This is the life that the Lord has given me. It does not look like the one I would have ordered, there are things I want or don't want. I sometimes grieve over the unfulfilled dreams. But do I trust Him? Do I trust that His plans are really better than mine?

So today I will see the glass as half full.
Titus 1:15
To the pure all things are pure: but to them that are defiled and unbelieving nothing is pure; but both their mind and their conscience are defiled.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

God works in mysterious ways.

That's what my daughter reminded me of when I shared the newest twist in my life. I currently have 3 young adults living in my home. Now another is coming, my niece. To some thins sounds great I am sure. I have a friend who loves teens and young adults. But not me! Give me a room full of toddlers and I am a happy woman.

But no this is the place I have been put. My sons have been here over a year now and it has been trying. I was already thinking I was ready to tell them to move on, and now this. I guess I am just going to have to tighten up the ship. They are adults, I am not their servant. So with the new addition I will have a chance to again try to gain control.

Also my niece has a lot of issues. She is a wild one. I cannot handle this if she acts up, so I will set the boundaries from the beginning.

So what is God doing? I cry out for a baby and I am given this. What is the purpose? What does He want me to learn? What does He want me to teach?