Worship

I have always loved worshiping the Lord. It is who I am, how I hear His voice. All of us are different. My daughter used to get sick of singing, wishing we would just get on the the sermon, while I was thinking "oh, just one more song" God speaks to us all according to who He has made us.

Years ago I went to a large church that had a great music dept. I was in the choir, and I loved it! I would pinch myself sometimes not believing He would let me do that. I even had dreams the director would walk past and hear my voice and say "what is she doing up here!" To be a part of that was so important to me. One Easter I fell off my porch steps and broke my elbow, and all I could think is I will go to the hospital after the program! (which of course my husband vetoed) But the Lord called me out of that church, because it was sadly, what I would now call a christian cult. It was one of the most painful things I have ever experienced, they were my family! And it meant giving up the choir that was such a blessing to me

Years have now past and I have not found that place of worship again. I have attended a church that really struggles in that area. I have had a few times over the years when I was able to worship in a deep way.

The last few years I have been listening to talk radio. I am a political junkie I think. I like to think and discuss such things. But my husband does not, so I guess this was my way of filling that. For quite a while I have been hearing in my spirit to turn it off and put on praise music. The other day I put on the CD's we had made at my old church and I listened while I cleaned. It was nice.

Then today I put on some praise music. All I can say is it has made such a difference. I have been struggling to have any energy. I have just been forcing myself to do what I have to. But as I have listened to the praises of our Lord I can feel a change in me. I have a desire to get into my homemaking. I feel a closeness to Him I have missed.

Fill your home with sounds of Joy, and praise the Him who holds all things in His hands.

Help with Blogspot.

I can't seem to comment on any Blog, not even my own! I will sign in under google or open ID and nothing. What am I doing wrong??

Simple Woman's Daybook-May 25th

FOR TODAY May 25th

Outside my window...It is threatening rain, a chill is in the air. Will I ever get to do laundry?

I am thinking...Of all I want to do this week.

I am thankful for...a fun day with some friends yesterday, and my husbands willingness to let me go. I was blessed as I saw their big family walking together, leaving the garage sale we stopped at.

From the kitchen...I really am needing to get busy there too. Maybe some bread today?

I am wearing...jean skirt, teal top and teal scarf.

I am creating...My garden bed, if I can work around my foot and the rain. I am determined to have it ready by this weekend. Late for some, but early for me!

I am going...to stay home today, hopefully

I am reading...Our Father Abraham. About the Jewish roots of our faith.

I am hoping...my foot starts to get better. I have so much I want to accomplish but can't in this condition.

I am hearing...William Bennett, Morning in America

Around the house...as usual I have more to do than I can list. You would think at this point in life it would slow down. Sorry it doesn't.

One of my favorite things...Going out to the barn to visit my animals. My chicks made it through the night in their new house.

A few plans for the rest of the week...Scrubbing my kitchen floor, it is unfinished wood so I need to give it some special attention. Getting my wringer washer all set up and then spending a day outside washing clothes.

Here is picture thought I am sharing...
My Grandsons, I just love this picture!

The dicipline of writing

I never understood why people would use this phrase. I mean what does discipline have to do with it? But now as I try to give this writing thing a shot I understand it. I want to write regularly but it is not as easy as I had thought.

Many many things in life do come down to discipline. I was brought up in a home without much structure. The only have to's would be Mom goes to work, we go to school. Other than that there were not set schedules. We would do the dishes when Mom got sick of seeing them and told us to.

So I have struggled with those things my whole life. Housework has always been a struggle as I was never taught. Mom just told me it was my job at a very young age. I realized a few years ago that I still tend to clean like a 7 yr old! Only seeing big messes and not understanding maintenance.

I have tried to overcome many of the isses that come from this lack of training. My daughter has done much better, as I was learning she was beside me. She also is a natural at it, while I am not.

But the Lord continues to refine me, He keeps working on this slow learner. He seems to have patience that I don't have with myself. I think that by now I sould have it all together. But no I am still a work in progress. I will continue to strive and learn and He will continue to do His work in me.

So I will work on trying to get here more often, disciple myself to do another thing I feel He has called me to.

Busy days on the farm.

Well it is spring. And with it comes work, but fun work for the most part. I have had two sets of boy/girl twin kids born. It was a couple very long nights for me and my first timer. But she has two healthy babies and is taking to being a mama well. Except she yells a lot! I have one more old girl who has yet to kid. She is puzzling me, not even sure she is really expecting. But I swear I see them moving, or it may just be wishful thinking.

I also have ten new chicks, and a couple turkey chicks. The turkeys almost didn't survive their first day here. The temptation was just to much for my labs. But luckily I caught them quick and both have survived! I am looking for a couple pigs. Who would have known how hard that would be.

So with all this comes the extra work of cleaning a winters worth of goat mess out of the stall. I am carting it right out to the garden, which is a long way away when you have a wheelbarrow full of heavy wet hay. So once that is done I need to get working on that garden! Me with my black thumb will try again!

Then on top of all this I really want to give the house a good spring cleaning. I will have my daughter and her three little children coming to visit in about 6 weeks. So I really want to get this all accomplished by then.

I guess it is a good thing that I keep waking up at 6 am.

Is is possible to be both happy and sad at the same time??

I just found out my brother and his girlfriends' baby was born this morning. They had a little girl. I am so happy for them, but it also makes me sad.

See both my brother and sister have not followed the Lord, have lived worldly lives, divorced, leaving children in the wake. And now both of them have been blessed with more children in the last year and a half.

Meanwhile tomorrow is my 25th wedding anniversary, I stayed and made it work through a difficult marriage. I love him, but we live in two different worlds. I choose to listen to the Lord and live up to my vows. My husband too, took them very seriously I have to say.

I have always wanted many children. But my husband did not, so after three he said enough. At 23 yrs old I had my last baby. My arms have ached for one ever since. I have prayed that God would see fit to override the work of the doctor, but He has not. I am now 44 yrs old and know the window is closing.

But then I see my sister at 38, have another, her 4th. A woman who never wanted children. And now my brother at 42, be blessed with a little baby girl.

I want to scream "why", I followed the rules. I did the right thing, and I am denied! I don't understand how he made me to desire nothing more than to be a mom to leave me feeling empty at a young age. I don't know what I am going to do with myself all the years ahead of me.

I trust Him and I will continue to do so. It just stings right now.

The myth of doing it all

Well I have not written in a while. I went to see my new granddaughter for a week and then started a job for the census.

I really have no idea how working moms do it. I have a husband and two grown sons living at home. But I cannot keep up on everything. I am struggling to get dinner on the table. I want to sew curtains for my kitchen, clean the goat pen for the upcoming births (any day now). I am wanting to start spring cleaning. But am worn out.

So how do women do it when they have little ones? * oh my! whats that smell? Dinner burning!!*

Yep I burned my dinner a little just taking the time to write this.

So what suffers? I wonder. I also noticed as I am out doing my job how few homes have anyone home during the day. I live in a rural area, yet no one is home, with very few exceptions. How sad big beautiful houses with no life in them.

Can't wait til I can come back home and get to my real work!