My husband told me something yesterday. I am struggling with what I should think about it. He shared that a friend of his told him he was proud of him because he has not become whipped. In my husband circle the worst thing a man can be is controlled by a woman. This is not a group of men who understand headship or anything like it. Most are divorced because they do not know how to treat a woman. They are immature men who still want to act like boys. They all also do not know Christ so behave accordingly.
So when he said this to me I had two conflicting feelings. One was negative, thinking. yep, you have never put me or your family first. Which unfortunately they would interpret as being whipped.
But the other one was happiness that I had not, though my pushing, taken something from him that is of most importance to him, his pride. Even though I believe that a true man would put his wife first no matter what his friends thought. He is not in that place yet. Although in the same drive a song can on the radio and he commented he hated the song. I asked why, as I love it. It bothered him because it talked about missing your kids when they were grown. And he confessed he missed out on their childhood by his poor choices. And this song reminded him of that.
I want to put aside the thought of feeling upset because he cares more about his pride than me. But I also am glad that I am working on being a helpmeet to him, right where he is at now. So am I crazy to try to focus on the fact that I have made myself fit for him, even when it seems to cost me dearly? The battle is waging in my heart. Which will I choose?