Sunday, September 13, 2009

Choosing how to react.

My husband told me something yesterday. I am struggling with what I should think about it. He shared that a friend of his told him he was proud of him because he has not become whipped. In my husband circle the worst thing a man can be is controlled by a woman. This is not a group of men who understand headship or anything like it. Most are divorced because they do not know how to treat a woman. They are immature men who still want to act like boys. They all also do not know Christ so behave accordingly.

So when he said this to me I had two conflicting feelings. One was negative, thinking. yep, you have never put me or your family first. Which unfortunately they would interpret as being whipped.

But the other one was happiness that I had not, though my pushing, taken something from him that is of most importance to him, his pride. Even though I believe that a true man would put his wife first no matter what his friends thought. He is not in that place yet. Although in the same drive a song can on the radio and he commented he hated the song. I asked why, as I love it. It bothered him because it talked about missing your kids when they were grown. And he confessed he missed out on their childhood by his poor choices. And this song reminded him of that.

I want to put aside the thought of feeling upset because he cares more about his pride than me. But I also am glad that I am working on being a helpmeet to him, right where he is at now. So am I crazy to try to focus on the fact that I have made myself fit for him, even when it seems to cost me dearly? The battle is waging in my heart. Which will I choose?


  1. Men and women have different needs. You need to be loved, to feel loved, to feel needed. He needs your respect. He needs to feel pride in himself.

    If you respect him and let him have the emotions he needs, pride, it will be easier for him to love you.

    We get upset because we think they have the same needs and the same desires. He doesn't. He won't - even after he becomes a believer.

    As you respect your husband he will never feel whipped. As an unbeliever, he will put himself above you, only God can change that.

    In the meantime respect him just as he is - with all his faults and ways of the other men. Let God do the work and you won't feel so upset - you will know you are an extension of God at work in his life.

    Someday he will be free to love you more; in the meantime bask in God's love for you.

    Praying for you -

  2. Wow. Since our husbands are to love their wife as the church, it's no wonder these guys are clueless on how to treat a wife. They just need to be educated on what God meant for a real man to be like. They've been taught wrong. It doesn't surprise me they ended up on your door step. Haha. Go get um girl. Have at um. God is with you.